The Last Two Years

Written on

April 22, 2023

I don’t know what to do.

Last night I hit the “submit” button on my graduation portfolio. My work for my master’s degree from Lipscomb University’s School of Education is complete.

For the last two years, there as always been a paper to write, a chapter (or 2) to read, or a project to work on. For the last two years, I have reprioritized and let things go. For the last two years, there has always been something that needed to be done.

I firmly believe that God led me to this opportunity, to be a teacher resident, to finish my degree and to become an English teacher. He has tied up so many loose ends – bringing me back to work with middle school students, my love of reading and writing, my spiritual gift of teaching – allowing me to see how He has uniquely made and equipped me to fulfill the purpose that He had written for me in His book before any of my days ever came to be.

The last two years have been busy. While I was studying, I was working. While I was taking classes, I was teaching school. While I was learning, I was growing – but life was happening around me too. Life didn’t stop. We celebrated birthdays and holidays. We mourned and lost. Seasons changed. Life went on.

God showed Himself so very faithful over the last two years. He provided the wisdom I needed to pass not one but three different certification tests on the first attempts. He helped me learn how to manipulate new technology. He stretched the hours to allow me to finish so, so many assignments.

Over the last two years, He has also given me an amazing support system. My girls have understood when I have missed whatever because of “my class.” They have never complained. My husband has gone above and beyond. He has covered dinners and bedtimes. He has assumed responsibilities for chores that I had once considered mine. He has had just the right words of encouragement right when I needed to hear them. God gave me so much of what He knew I would need in my sweet family.

So now, this first afternoon after I have hit submit for the last time, I am not sure what to do with my free time – for the last two years, I haven’t felt like I’ve had free time. Now, that I do, what do I do?

I am going to take my girls to the mall. Then what? Idk. Maybe I will bake some cookies, because I want to, not because I have to. Maybe I will polish nails or begin to read a novel, because, well – I can.

I think I will wait to tackle the unwritten list within my head of “someday” chores and “when I graduate” projects. Because if I have learned anything in the last two years is that God truly does have a time for everything.

Today, this summer, I want to reflect on the last two years, and rest in the present in His presence, and reset for whatever He may lead me to in the next two years.

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