“I love you! Watch out for the crazies!” These are the last words that I am telling my newly driving daughter these days as she heads out the door.
I want to tell her so much more – “Don’t take the turns too fast,” “Be sure to use your turn signal,” “Don’t let your phone distract you,” Keep in the center of the lane.” But I know that she would tune me out and not heed any of my instructions. She has heard me admonish all of those things and more. I know from her frustrated sigh and furrowed brow with accompanying eye roll, that she would tune me out with the first “don’t” that crossed my lips.
Watching her taillights go over the rise and disappear in the dawning light of day each morning as she goes to school is a daily act of faith on my part.
My faith is not in her or her driving skills. I only have to look in the mirror to have a discussion with her instructor and I know all too well how inadequate she is! Even if my daughter was the most well instructed driver on the road, she still lacks the years of experience I wish she already had. Yes, she is mature and responsible and trustworthy – all reasons I have not invested in a tracking app for my phone. But I still find myself struggling not to wrap her in plastic wrap, strap her into a rear facing car seat, and drive her myself to her senior year of high school.
As I sat in the DMV office when she took her driver’s test, I prayed. I prayed that she wouldn’t be nervous. I prayed that she would pass. I prayed that I would be okay with whatever the outcome would be. God answered the first two prayers quickly. He is still working on the third.
I am glad she passed. I am happy she is driving. I am relieved that she is now a little more independent and can get herself to all those activities and child care jobs. But it is that independence that is upping my prayer game as of late.
Yes, she is a senior. We spent a hunk of time working on college applications last night. We are going on college visits and we are counting down mere months to graduation. Some of the days have been long, but these years have been far too short. There are many more final and first milestones signaling more opportunities for her to stretch her wings and take a few practice flights from the safety of our little nest.
All the while, the Spirit is gently nudging me to pray – for her safety, for her success, for her growth – even if that means failure – I also have to pray for me to have the faith to trust my big God with my little girl.
He is so good to remind me so much:
The challenge is for me to trust Him with her- yet it is not “just” with her and her physical well being or her future…
The driving thing has pointed out that there is a bigger aspect in the mix here…
He has gently reminded me that her spiritual growth is not up to me, nor is her sisters’ or her father’s or anyone else’s for that matter. I am not their Holy Spirit. Just as God is working these situations and circumstances for my spiritual growth, He is doing His own thing in them as well. He’s got this, He’s got them and He can be trusted.
Just as I trust Him to work in me, I am learning to trust Him to work in them too. Right now, my “present tense” is learning to trust Him with their “present tense” too.
Operation Do It (O.D.I.)
Tomorrow starts the third week of the girls’ summer break from school. Over the years we have developed some structure for the girls’ free mornings so they wouldn’t spend all day every day glued to some screen or begin begging us for something to “do” at 10 am each day. I am not sure which […]
Where I Am Supposed To Be
During class last week, our professor sought to help us process the latest school shooting in Texas. Like all my instructors in the graduate school at Lipscomb’s College of Education, she was modeling for us how we could facilitate a similar discussion with our own students. She read a few texts, gave us a few […]
What Is The Best Thing About It?
Today, my first born turns 18. Last Saturday, was her last piano recital ever. I remember when she swung her legs from the bench, barely able to keep up with her instructor. Next Saturday is her senior prom. She will dress up and wear her highest heals to date. Then, the following Friday she will […]