Today is full of a bunch of different emotions for a bunch of different reasons.
This is the first Mother’s Day since my grandmother’s passing. I miss her, but I also hurt for my mom, whom I know misses her so much more.
May is the month the baby I miscarried would have been born. I hurt for the friends who see today as one of “what ifs” or “why not me.”
I have already been showered with gifts and attention from my three little ladies who call me “mom” and I have thanked God for the incredible blessing it is to be their mother. I feel grateful.
Currently, my feet are propped on the ottoman as I sit on the couch watching a movie with the girls as their daddy is slaving away in the kitchen making me a feast of my choosing. I am relaxed.
There are lots of good reasons to celebrate this holiday. There are also more than a few valid reasons to explain why people would want to skip it too. A quick google search shows that there is even a little controversy about the origins of this day. It seems the lady who began the holiday wanted it revoked after a few years.
Mother’s Day has not, is not, and most likely will never be a religious holiday – BUT, it is a good opportunity to stop and reflect on a few things spiritually. This is what I am thinking about today:
- First, I am thankful that God saw fit to bless me with my mom. She instilled in me a deep love of God and His church. I am who I am because of who she is.
- Second, I appreciate beyond measure that God’s plan for me included motherhood. I do not take their role in my life for granted. They are simply fun. I love their giggles and their games. It is a privilege to watch them grow. I love being not just any ol’ mom — I love being their mom.
- Third, I understand that my role in their lives is a God-ordained calling and ministry. Loving and caring for them requires prayer on a whole other level. My mission field is first and foremost our home. My deepest desire is for them to know and love Christ with a growing and abiding passion. The Holy Spirit saves and sanctifies them, but I am fully aware of my influence to cultivate an environment for His work.
- Fourth, Paul writes in 1 Timothy about how women are saved through child-bearing. This passage can be confusing, but with a look a little deeper, his meaning is clear. God uses our kids to make us more like His Son. Being a mother is sanctifying. It is hard and wonderful and ugly and beautiful all at the same time. My kids can point out and bring out my sinful weaknesses. But, they can also highlight the areas and aspects of my life and heart where God has done the most work and brought the most healing.
- Fifth, Mother’s Day, with all its expectations and baggage, is a reminder that I am not my kids and my kids are not me. They are their own God created people. He determined to set us together in this family. They are not my identity and, as they grow, they will realize I am not theirs. He can and does things for them that I cannot – that was never mine to do. He holds them and keeps them. His plans for them are bigger and better and higher than mine because He is bigger and better and higher than me.
- Finally, I know who I am has been set by God and determined in Christ – that reality is bigger than my kids. My purpose is higher than them, and that’s pretty high. I do not live for them I live for Christ. When I fail, His grace covers me over and over again. It is more than okay that I am not Instagram/Pinterest perfect. In my weaknesses, He is glorified. I am satisfied not in my role as a mother, but in who I am in Christ.
Yes, my feelings today are multi-facted and my thoughts are deep. But, overall, I am using Mother’s Day to be grateful, to reflect, but to be in the moment.
Now I am going to get off this computer and play some board games with my girls.